Okay call me crazy… but i am taking basic celestial navigation class! I am in pursuit of my Captain’s license!
I have to tell you that it is cool as it has been challenging my brain…you know i go to work everyday and life goes on as normal…same old same old. But this has really made me start to think about the world around us!
I like big butts and I can not lie…..
I like big butts and I can not lie…..I like big butts and I can not lie….
Ahh WHAT? Oh NO YOU DIDN’T!
I was cleaning the kitchen and the boys were in the living room singing and dancing around….I stop to listen and this is what i hear!!
Jordan was teaching his brothers how to sing a “cool” song he learned on the bus! Of course the twins thought it was hysterical!
So did I but i could not tell them that!! With a little smirk on my face, I calmly told the boys that was not okay…. OMG What will they learn next?
I found out someone at work is pregnant. It is so exciting and it reminds me of when i was pregnant. It was such an unreal experience. Two little babies growing inside. I truly believed they were little aliens growing and moving and causing such havoc over body. Every time I went to the doctors one way to know how the babies were doing was to listen to their heart beat. Always waiting and listening….
I remember after they were born and we all were home, i just could not believe it. I would hold these tiny 4 lb bodies up to my ear and listen to their heart beats, just to be sure it was real! Even now I will listen to their little hearts beating away…
Well Raymond and I were sitting quietly in the chair together watching a movie. All snugged together. It was nice. His head resting on my chest, He then said to me with great excitment, you know the kind of excitment i would get when the doctor would find both of the twins heart beats when i was pregnant, “Mommy!!, I can hear your heart beating”
I had to tell him about the times I would listen to his heart beat just to be sure it was all real!! I will always be listening to make sure it is real!
How did I get from School vacation to being stuck in a world 20 years ago?
So it all started with school vacation. The kids are off with Nana and Grandpa to New Hampshire to ski while i stay behind and work. The house nice and clean, get up to a wonderful snow storm, work calls at 600am to say “Dont come to work, we are closed” Unfortunately i had a school group there and needed to send them on their way so there was no way of getting out of going to work. No big deal, I work with awesome people and they are always a barrel of laughs! So off i went to work in the snow. We all left, the roads were not that bad so i decided to go do a few errands, get some much needed food for the house, i even picked up a few movies to watch.
While picking up the movies at Blockbuster, I bumped into my friend Chris’s sister. She looks just like she did when she was younger. It was awesome. We chatted, I asked about Chris.
Now Chris had a brain tumor taken out about 4 years ago. he has some short term mermory problems as they had to take some of his gray matter along with the tumor. I would go and see him in the hospital with my friend Wayne. We would trek up to Providence, he would never remember if we had been there the week before. So Wayne and I watched Fifty first dates…giggle. Chris ended up coming home. Confused. Lost. We all would hang out with him. but we all had busy lives and sometimes it was hard to keep up. I would call. But the calls were never returned. I would wonder how he was doing but life keep going. I would bump into friends and ask how he was doing. No one knew. He was lost in his own world.
So gave her my number, never expecting him to call me back. Off i went, back to my clean house, JNB and I watched Little Miss Sunshine. It was a great movie by the way. Saturday comes, I watch another movie in my clean house, and Chris calls. It is like a trip down memory lane. He remembers me, but he remembers me dating Spezz, that was 20 years ago though. I had to explain to him that we no longer date, that i had children, three of them. He was shocked to hear that my oldest will be 10 next month. And shocked I had twins! He told me he had gotten out of the hospital 6 months or so ago….more like 4 years. It was so sad, he was a bit eccentric but it broke my heart to hear how lost he was. How little he remembers, yet how he remembers 20 years ago like it were yesterday.
It makes me want to appreciate my life and my memories good or bad. I would hate to be stuck in my life that was 20 years ago.
Okay as a kid, all i wanted was to be a mom. As a kid when i thought about this, being a mom was having babies. Their sweet smell, their love for you, they hanging on every word as you read to them, those cute little clothes that you get to dress them in, car seats, diaper bags and so on….
BUT….reality has been hitting lately.
WHAT? they do not stay small forever? they grow up?
The do NOT smell so sweet all the time, they get mad at you, they could care less if you read to them, they want attention on their terms, and NOW THEY PICK OUT THEIR OWN CLOTHES!!
Okay so i always have a plan. Not all plans work out but at least i can say i always have a plan……I DO NOT HAVE A PLAN! I never really thought this far. I mean I knew the would grow up but so fast? I never really thought i would ever have to raise three boys by myself. Dont get me wrong I get a lot of help but lets face it…..I am the last one, no one to fall back on….
What am I going to do? Why does it seem the boys are always “playing” King of the MOuntian? Why do we need to know who the dominant male is? What is that all about? WHy is there so much rough housing? Arent they going to get hurt? What is the fascination with butts? Did I tell you I was “mooned” by my 7 year old? where do they learn this?
I am so not ready?
There has got to be a book about this!!
Then puberty?
Okay so when i was in school, the boys went to the gym and the girls went to the libray. we got to see our own films about SEX and PUBERTY. But we never got to see the other!! What do I need to know? I missed the film on guy puberty!!!
Okay…calming down…searching Amazon.com for a good book…OH SHIT HAVE YOU SEEN ALL THESE BOOKS!!
Deep breathes! I am going to have to work on this plan! Any advice is welcome!!
So i was reading Rubyshooz blog and saw this meme and thought i would do it! I am suppose to post the rules and then tag 5 people! so lets see how i do…
Here they are:
Rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.
1. Nearest book, Green for Life, by Victoria Boutenko
2. opened to page 123, check.
3. Find 5th sentence….”That is one of the first questions I ask when clients when they come to see me.
4. Post the next three….I think smoothies are a key factor in more people becoming raw. If a person is not dealing with constant cravings, then they will find being raw a lot easier. When I stopped craving junk food, I realized I did want to go raw.
5. Tag 5 people….. okay here goes…Jen, CuriousC, Elizabeth, Mike, and Chelle.
So I have been reading about going raw. It is kinda extreme with todays diet….but it makes sense when you read about it. Now the challenge will be to get the kids to eat a raw vegan diet….hum call me crazy! I will keep you up to date on how i do.. I have just not been feeling well and since i have taken refined sugar out of my diet about a month ago, i have lost 10lbs and my sugar levels are lower, low enough for my doctor to take me off some medicine…. yeah!!
Well I thought I would share some of the photos of last weekend in North Conway. Jordan was sick this weekend so there are no pictures of him. 
Next time we will get some action shots although he is a speeding bullet! Even the ski instructors have a hard time keeping up with jumping the moguls. Here are the boys skiing at Mt. Carnmore.
Uncle John with the twins. Before taking them to the top!! What a great Uncle!!
Raymond Checking out his skis!!
Nathaniel loves the camera!!
Raymond and Nathaniel posing for the picture!
Nathaniel playing with the dogs….Simon the brown bagel (uncle Johns baby) and Bess the black Lab (Nana and Grandpa’s new puppy).
Well the sun is shining….I am feeling a bit better now that it is NOT Raining…..The ship has defrosted until the next time it is windy and cold and there are people comnig to stay on board…..I love my ship but she can be a bit persnickety when it comes to the cold. I think she knows when people come and just freezes up…kinda like stage fright! Anyway….
Well I know today is Valentines Day. I know everyone wants to talk about L.O.V.E. But as it was brought to my attention today, it is really “Singles Awareness Day” yup thats right. Today is the day you find out who is dating and in love or who is not.
Yup YOU GUESSED IT I AM SINGLE! I have been reading about how happy and “perfect” people want us to believe they are…but you know what it is…it is what people want you to see. Maybe someday my Knight in Shinning Armor will come and prove me wrong and I welcome that but come on people! If you are in love show it everyday! You should not need a day to prove it!!
So I am going to go home, enjoy my three little Angels…dream of the “perfect” valentines day… you know the one…where a little card tucked under your pillow before you get up in the morning, flowers are left for you on the front seat of your car for your ride home, arriving home with all the children having done all their homework, the fire place going, dinner is on the table waiting, kids happily and quietly go to bed and you and your man will spend the night on the couch snuggling talking about each others day. Oh yeah did i mention all the laundry and the house would be spotless? right….now back to reality!!!
Have a great DAY!!
Peace out!
Okay so i just have not gotten the writing feeling….the weather is killing me! SNOW or DONT…..This wintry mix is not acceptable to me! being stuck indoors has been tough. With sick kids it has been tougher….so perhaps i will give a glimpse of life in my house the past two weeks, broken washers, two out of three kids puking, ear aches and ER trip!
Okay so lets talk about this ER trip….I get a call from the babysitter saying Jordan does not feel well. Well i take it pretty seriously as my kids really do not complain much as they know my usually response is going to be “Oh you are fine, drink some water you will be okay” So when Jordan was complaining about his ears I knew he was sick. So i went home. YUP He was sick. So i decided to talk him to the local walk in. The lady there as SO RUDE! and then turned me away. I had a crying child and they would not see us, first it was becasue mail was sent to my house and it was returned and then after sorting that out she then said she would not take my insurance even though it worked just fine the last time. PISSED I walked out.
Called a couple of walk in centers to ask of they took his insurance. One did not and the other did. except they were closing for the day. SO a trip to the ER. Pequot Medical Center. It was overcrowded and busting at the seams with people. I had all three boys. My mom was already home, my brother and father had a meeting. OMG so I took the boys with me thinking that was the better choice. How long could it be! famous last words! I call a couple of friends. Finally my friend Becca could come over picked up the twins. Thank God!
So Jordan cried in pain in the waiting room. Then the lady had to get all our information. Right there in the main room she is asking the normal questions, name address, who are you, who holds the insurance. Well my Ex husband does and now she is asking about him. What is his address….I quietly say I do not know. She bursts out, “WHAT? YOU DONT KNOW?” I felt so small. No I do not know where he lives, then this persnickety woman asked if i knew what town or state he lived in. I knew he lived in CT. Where i was unsure. Then, “DO YOU AT LEAST KNOW HIS NUMBER?” fumbling through my bag i dig out my cell phone looking for his number. I wanted to cry at the point. I did not. I gave her the number and asked her if she wanted me to call him and ask for the information. She was disgusted with me and said no someone else would deal with it. Horrified at what had happened i sat down with Jordan. He was crying, i wanted to and i had the twins jumping all over me. Finally Becca came toke the twins. Jordan was seen after three hours of sitting there he had two bludging ear drums, potential to rupture.
Thankfully home again. Twins asleep. Jordan feeling better with-the affects of the pain medicine. Questioning how did i not know all this when i signed up for parenthood. That was home life. I still had a ship that was frozen and had no water and i had 40 people coming to sleep on the ship. I had to light a fire under peoples butts to get that going. So the stress builds up and this “wintry mix shit” has GOT TO STOP!
Okay so not the most pleasant post ever. I am sorry. I am so overwhelmed but the treadmill of life keeps going without giving me a rest. I just need to suck it up and deal. maybe i will go tanning and reap the benefits of artificial sun…..
Well here goes another sunday…..You can find my first one here. I love it…I guess every weekend this person writes ten new words….You can find it on Unconscious Mutterings
I say … and you think … ?
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