Food Friday: Raw “cheese” cake

So I have been eating so many different foods lately…. I know it has done me a world of good, i have the blood work to show for it and I am happily missing 27lbs because of it!!  I have tried a couple of desserts and this one is by far the best!! YUMMY!!  I even brought it to work and had a sampling !  It is a raw vegan dessert but trust me it is good!!  It takes time to make but well worth the effort!!

I would post a picture but it gets eaten so fast!!!  Next time I promise!

CRUST

• 2 Cups raw nuts (almonds, pecans, walnuts or macadamia nuts)
• ½ Cup Dates (soaked and pitted)
• Coconut

CHEESE

• 3 Cups Soaked Cashews (Soak a least an hour, but longer if possible)
• ¾ Cup Lemon Juice with pulp (or lime for more tartness)
  ¾ Cup Raw Agave Nectar (Honey can be used as a substitute)
  ¾ Cup Raw Coconut Oil (lightly melted- emerge container in hot water or place in dehydrator a few minutes)
  ¼” piece of vanilla bean (use only the scraped out seeds) (extract can work as a substitution if it is pure and doesn’t contain alcohol.)
• Water as needed

TO MAKE-
Sprinkle coconut on the bottom of a 8″ spring form pan (to avoid the crust sticking). Use a food processor to process nuts and dates to form a crust. Gently press the crust into the pan and smooth with a plastic scraper.

Next, blend (in a high powered blender) all the “cheese” ingredients until smooth & creamy. Pour “cheese” evenly over crust and place in freezer until frozen If you have bubbles gently tap pan on the counter.  Add a little agave or some dates if not sweet enough.   Defrost in refrigerator an hour before serving. Garnish with fresh fruit.

**I would bet you could throw some fresh fruit in the “cheese” to make a fruity cake.  Trust me people will not believe this is truly good for you!!  ENJOY!

School, food, Life

A week and half of school is done!  PHEW how many more do we have to go?  Dont get me wrong my kids love school.  I feel like i have been behind the eight ball lately…trying to play catch up from the summer, then feeling unmotivated to get anything done, like upload pictures from my camera and such!  OMG  since the middle of July there were well over 300 pictures that needed attention!!  It looks like through the pictures it was a great summer! Oh my!

Well it was back to school night, and we all know how much i like those things….okay I really do not like them.  I know i know it is all in my head.  I know i am insecure about the fact i am flying solo on this parenting thing, but i feel like there is a huge spot light on my back as i sit in the front of the gym.  SHE’S THE SINGLE PARENT OF THE CRAZY EXHUSBAND.

Well i do not know any of these parents other to say hello.  Not like any are my friends.  Close to the end of the talk from teh principal i started counting my fingers as i got nervous sitting there.  I looked around and even the gay guys sitting in front of me had each other.  AGGHHHH!!  Deep breath it is over…and really it is about Jordan and no one else.  He is a smart kid he just needs to apply himself!

On to other things, today while eating lunch with a great friend, I reconized someone from my married days.  She was the mother of my exhusbands best man.  She was an amazing woman.  She was always so kind to me.  Even after the divorce she called.  She asked what happened, and i must have felt comfortable enough to tell her.  She even lives in the same town i do.  but as time has gone on, and chester made me feel crazy and isolated, i lost touch.  Well today, I saw her, and all i could think of was my dad, my dad telling me that if you see someone you know, you must go up and say hello.  UGH, i struggled with it, but i did, i went up and said hello.  She did not recognize me at first, but i had my name tag on from work.  and once she realized who i was, (with great fear i was going to be rejected) she hugged me!  It was awesome, but i was still oh so nervous.  I did the right thing.  We chatted for a bit, I was so happy to see her.  She was very warm and welcoming.  Verying good to see her, and i hope to be in touch with her again.  I am so glad i said hello.  I worried so much in those few minutes.  I mean it has been over 1 1/5 years since i have seen chester, what if he had been filling her with lies.  But he had not, she asked about him and if we saw him.  She was sad to hear he was no longer allowed to talk with us or see us, but she also understood it was for the best for the boys.  I have to always remind myself that i did nothing wrong and the divorce was not my fault.  Thank heavens for my dad, his voice reminded me to do the right thing.

So i have been making green smoothies for breakfast.  Well Carrie wanted to try the blueberry bliss one, so i made her the blueberry bliss, i made a peach and basil for myself and a sampler for Amanda!!  YUMMY!! I like this eating more fresh fruits and veggies!! Still only have lost 24 lbs!  UGHHHH

Lastly, we had a sushi night at my house with the STS gang.  It was great fun. It is nice to make and eat food together! Even the kids got into it a little.  Jordan eating salmon!! YUMMY!!

Happy 4th of July

Wow! Party, party, Race comittee and another party tomorrow!  OMG  Stop me now!

So yesterday after work i went to the gym, it felt good! then home for a quick shower and change to go to an annual beach party with reggae band, good food and great rum punch!  Then up early for the Breakfast on the beach! We always start off the summers with breakfast on the beach party.  WAHOO! that is early!  I cooked 9 dozen eggs to order and had a great time cooking next to my brother.  We had four grills on the beach going, bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes, fruit and baked goodies.  Honestly i never saw the baked goodies i was to busy cooking eggs!

While at the party i hear they are taking APHRODITE out for Race Committee.  What you do not know this boat? OMG she is beautiful!Oh you want to get closer to the boat??

Oh my goodness! I have dreamed of getting on this boat!  Well today was the day! Today Out i went, happy as a calm and boy can she move!  She is beautiful in and out! and to learn of her and her who’s who guest list! Shirley Temple had a birthday party on her! OMG how cool!

Well it was a fun day watching the races, and I took lots of pictures!

Tomorrow ANOTHER party! Who knew such a party girl!?!

Happy 4th!  here are a few photos of the races!

Food Friday: Apple avocado Salad with Tangerine dressing

So I have to tell you I have been concentrating on eating better and exercising.  I see a wonderful health counselor.  I feel as though she understands me and is helping me to make life changes.  Not necessarily a “diet” but a healthier lifestyle.  She is awesome!

As i said i see a personal trainer! I LOVE him.  I think I would have given up going to the gym with out him.  Funny story, when i first went, i said to him, “Look, I know I am a princess, I tell people what to do, I am the boss at work and as much as I do not like to admit it, I like it. So I am not sure how this is ever going to work”  Well the first couple of sessions, I was very unsure of what we were doing.  And he finally said to me, ” I do not take no for an answer” UGH.  But you know what?  He is awesome!  He keeps me in line, encourages me to continue, shows me that I am stronger than i think, he believes in me as well.  When we first met, he told me he thinks i should be working out “cardio” 6 days a week! Holy shit, i believed he was on crack.  I was going from NO EXERCISE to 6 days a week? Are you kidding me?  Well I am up to four days a week minimum now.  I hate to admit it, but I kinda like going.  It is time for me, and only me.  I feel as though i have more energy! I love that!  Plus I have lost 15lbs! PHEW! who knew!??

Well I figured I would share an awesome recipe that i found and changed to be more what i like! Try it and let me know what you think! This is awesome!!

Apple Avocado Salad with Tangerine Dressing

• 1 (10 ounce) package baby greens
• 1/2 cup chopped pecans
• 1/3 cup crumbled blue cheese
• 2 teaspoons lemon zest
• 1 apple – peeled, cored and sliced
• 1 avocado – peeled, pitted and diced
• 4 mandarin oranges, juiced
• 1/2 lemon, juiced
• 1/2 teaspoon lemon zest
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• salt to taste

DIRECTIONS

1. In a large bowl, toss together the baby greens, red onion, walnuts, blue cheese, and lemon zest. Mix in the apple and avocado just before serving.
2. In a container with a lid, mix the mandarin orange juice, lemon juice, lemon zest, garlic, olive oil, and salt. Drizzle over the salad as desired.

Well enjoy the 4th!  Big plans! Parties to go to!  Good times!  I promise to post pictures of my brother on the billboard!

It must start with me if it is to get better

I always hear, life is like a roller coaster.  But someone said, yes it is like a roller coaster but it is the only ride we get!  how right they are…makes you think….

Okay life has been a bit crazy, that is no secret.  I get it, I have been hitting the bottom and I have been digging as it was not low enough.  I think i had an outer body experience a couple of weeks ago.  I had cried everyday on my way to work, and then at night thinking i just cannot go back.  I found myself, reaching for comfort items that were not helping anyone, my kids, my job, my friendships and so on but me especially.  I could see i needed help.  I  had gone through a whole bottle of rum and i really do not drink anymore, ask anyone.  nothing was making me happy.  It seemed as though passion was sucked out of me and I hurt.

I realized no one was going to reach into my black hole and rescue me.  I had to save myself.  It was like i was back on that floor on Oberlin Street, after I had kicked my ex husband out, paralyzed, this time not in fear but in self pity.

So step one, get a kitten.  It would love me unconditionally, alls i have to do is feed it and water it and it will love me. It will not fight or yell at me.  They say having a pet will help your soul.  Okay, check that off!  The kitten has arrived, Lily.

Just getting the kitten did not help.  I was still crying.  Now what?  I know, i need to go to the gym and eat better.  I have such an urge to fight, why not at the gym.  I have been eating food that does not make me feel good.  I need help doing this as i have trying on my own forever and honestly seems like it is a fail.

So help is what i looked for.  I had a nutritionist, she was nice, but by the book, FOOD PYRAMID, ugh.  But I don’t like pasta, bread gives me a stomach and milk, YUCK!  So that was good, she helped me see that drinking so much Crystal lite ice tea was not so good and now I really only drink water.

So a couple of things happened, Becca, was going to the gym to see a trainer and would come home and rave about her experience.  I wanted to feel that high too.  So I went, talked with the owner, he does not have an ounce of fat on him, lets just say he is ripped!  I laid it out on the line to him, I told him I needed help.  I was nervous, I did very little exercise, was pretty much a “princess” and pulled the girl card as needed.  I also told him that I actually am the boss at work and was not sure how this would work, someone telling me what to do.  Mike, the trainer, saw this as a challenge i think.  He really does not take no for an answer, and he seems to know when the weights are to light!  I have found that high, coming home from the gym.  I even have homework i need to do every night.  Mike thinks i should be doing cardio everyday! I think he is smoking crack, I said obtainable goals.  Three or four days a week!  Two with him!

Then, when going to my favorite juice bar…..wait the Only juice bar in the area…..I was talking with the owner, talking to her about foods, and nutritionists and so on.  She recommended, Heather!  Heather is a Health Counselor, helping me understand food better, what foods work and SUPPORT!  Someone who is not dwelling on the food pyramid, but focusing on me as the individual.  We have meet twice, it has been great. It seems as though someone understands what i am saying and will help.

Everyday seems to have its own challenges.  I do nto seem to cry everyday, I am trying to look forward to the positives, going to the gym, talking with Heather.  I want to enjoy life and everyone around me.  I need to be a good example for my boys.  I want to find what is missing.  I am the only one who will fix it.  I know that.  I am ready and I am arming myself with the support I need. I know it may not be easy, and may fall again, but I hope this time I am pointing in the right direction.  (oh and I have lost 8lbs!!)

single mom and sick

AAACHOO .. sniff sniff, wake up and you feel like someone has run you over with a truck, your nose is so clogged your lips are dry from breathing through your mouth.  UGH….alls you want to do is lay in bed, sleep it off.  hope some will bring you something to drink, hot tea, chicken soup, anything…

well lets talk about a single mother being sick.  Life just cannot just stop.  granted my parents took my kids friday night, but i think it was for ease, i think my mom just wanted to make sure the kids went to granny’s birthday party all dressed up smelling nice so she could show them off.  They are very cute.

I did end up at granny’s 90th party…did you know they play games at these things? OMG we played “over the hill bingo” There were words on there like, viagra, stool softener, depends, support hose….OMG, the three boys were playing too. Now mind you i took cold medicine, so every time i blew my nose the room started to spin for a few seconds…Raymond was asking what those words were…AWKWARD!

Anyway boys came home around 6 pm.  The boys had been gone a couple of nights, the twins ended up in my bed.  We all slept in there.  I woke to raymond laying across the bottom of the bed, nathaniel with his feet in my back.  Alls i wanted to do was roll over with the covers over my head.  But that did not work as i had laundry to do, the house to pick up, water the new grass outside, and meals to make.  Man these kids like to eat!

Well you will be happy to know the house is picked up.  MY LAST LOAD of LAUNDRY is in the dryer!  YUP! everything else is folded and PUT AWAY!! (i have found i do not have enough room in linen closet!! YIKES) grass watered, kids fed, plant re-potted,and kitchen is cleaned up!  phew!

Tomorrow, back to the war zone i mean work, and we are suppose to sail!  The weather does not look promising, but fingers crossed, if work is going to be bad tomorrow, sailing in some rain will not be that bad!

Night all!  Being sick cannot slow me down….who has time to rest????

Phew craziness

What it is April 5th! and i have not written in so long…sorry i can explain.

As everyone knows, the ecomomy sucks! and well that effects everyones job!  I mean i have had friends loose their jobs and some who they are told they might be on the chopping block as well! It is stressful to hear, but i must say, work for me has been S T R E S S F U L!!! OMG kinda like we are all in the zoo, the animal keeper is starving us, tricking us, trying to get us to jump through hoops and then dangling food.  We all seem to be turning on each other.  It sucks!  NO FUN!

To make work more fun, one of friends and coworkers who took the early retirment in December, passed away this week.  We all knew she was sick and has had cancer for years!  She is a strong woman!  She put up one hell of a fight!  I hope she is at peace now, she will be missed.

This kid thing is tough.  I really think i need friends that are single parents.  I found out there is a single parents group here in town, the last thursday of the month.  So i think i am going to go.  Now, i told my mom about this.  YOu know trying to do something positive for me.  She told me, “go, but you might find you have a lot more support than everyone else”  For FUCK SAKE!  let me just go.  She has no idea what it is like to be a solo parent.  She had my dad, we had opairs for years, she has had house cleaners and babysitters!  SO she HAS NO IDEA!!  I guess i was hurt when she said that, instead of supporting me she shot me down.  UGH

I spent my who sunday helping jordan work on his project, honestly, i worked on it while i pushed him along!  Then i was inside all day trying to push him and i was cleaning.  I really wanted to go outside and take a walk in this wonderful weather.

So some other random things, i found out about this site… thescramble.com it is awesome!  It makes a HEALTHY menu and then creates a list for you to go grocery shopping!! OMG sooooo cool!!!!  check it out and let me know what you think!!

lastly there is this website that keeps coming to my site, condron.us weird, it is like blogs for people with ADD! check it out!

Past two days! if only all of them could be like this!!

Phew what a cool couple of days.  Okay so life has been rocky.  But the past two days have been pretty cool….

Friday i went to work.  Got work done! interviewed someone for the summer job…hoped on the bus to go to a match wtih the sailing team!!

Off to the middle of Rhode Island to sail two matches one day!  The first match, the kids had to sail boat they were not used to, and did not do as well. The score was 2-1 and they lost.    But then they switched boats, into 420s, and they were happy little clams! They raced their little hearts out and beat the other team, 3-0!!  Oh i am so proud of them and here is a pic of WINNING!!

So home i came on the bus,ugh, but it was not so bad, sat in the front and had a few good conversations with the kids. I was text messaging with a friend, saying KID FREE WEEKEND!! Out to dinner we went!  OMG it was great! Great food, I had the best martini, oatmeal cookie! YUMMMY i think i could have thrown back a few more but had to drive home!

Saturday Morning, i was dragging my butt out of bed as I just could not sleep!  UGH! but off to the seaport for a frostbite regatta!  I have wonderful staff that take care of itall.  all i had to do was show up!  I did! and what a wonderful day!  The weather man said rain, but there was NO RAIN and it was a gorgeous day, nice breeze and I got to ride around in the crash boat!  Carrie came down with the cutest dogs ever!!  here is a few perfect pictures of the day!

Then off to an awards party.  (I so HATE THOSE just way to close to people. )  Got a plaque for the sponsoring the regatta!  and a cocktail glass! YEAH!  Then rush home to change out of my salty clothes and out to dinner!  YEAH for such a great friend!  Good drink, good food, good friend!

I am tired and sunburn, i think i am going to bed! I have a house to clean tomorrow! then back to work!  But how can i complain when i get to be on the water???

Shhhh….it’s my kids school calling my cell

So Friday, I limped into work, so that paychecks could be given out, I could get a jump on time cards, i would have passed them in if i had gotten them all!! BUT most importantly it was “Thai Friday”!  I love Thai friday!  I have two dishes I like there depending on my mood will depend on which one i get. Another story another day….

well we were eating lunch and my cell phone rings.  Now, the cell phone is personal, and only friends have this number, because of caller ID some people rank higher than others.  But seeing that I am a single parent I feel i need one and I do not wear a watch so it works outs for me.

Kids schools rank pretty high.  well I will walk out of a meeting to answer it or stop my world.  As they have my world at school and I will do anything for these little ones!

Phone rings, and it is Jordans school.  Oh great, he is now sick….I answer and it is a cheerful teacher on the phone.  First words out of her mouth were, “Jordan’s okay”  phew… she then goes on to tell me there was an altercation at school.  She goes on to tell me that Jordan was fooling around in the front of the line and was sent to the back of the line with a couple of kids.  Well something happened at the back of line. One of the boys was upset and “shoved jordan into the wall a couple of times” OMG….she quickly said she sent him to the nurses office to be checked out and put some ice on his back and there were no bumps or marks! Holy Shit!

I asked what Jordan did in response to it, she said, nothing.  He walked away.  It was not until another child came to her did she know the whole story.  Shocked, and of course the mother instinact in me was I would have shoved back so hard I would have knocked out teeth….(oh right i have a little pent up anger, Shocking)  His teacher was very proud of Jordan and how he handled himself.  And so was I.

Someone at the lunch table asked, in so many words…..what 6th grader do we need to rough up.  Haha…my thoughts too!

I asked Jordan what happened and what did he do.  He went on to tell me the same story his teacher told me.  He said, “Mommy, my friends egged me on to push him back or hit him, but I didn’t ’cause I would have gotten into trouble too.”  He was not about to hit another person!  I am proud of him, he is the most out going, happy kid, moody as most preteens are….but he was the bigger person today, i think he was a bigger person than i would have been.

He is a great kid!   I just hope he is not to much of a wuss!

Food Friday: Brownie Lava Dessert

Hey its food friday!!

So here is a recipe I plan on trying with the boys.  it just looks soooo good!  I will let you know how it comes out!  Let me know if you try it!!

Brownie Lava Dessert

(Serves 4 to 6)

1/2 cup pecan pieces

3 1/2 ounces good bittersweet chocolate

1 stick unsalted butter, cubed

1 cup minus 1 tablespoon sugar

2 extra-large eggs, lightly beaten

1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/2 cup all-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Put the pecan pieces into a baking dish and lightly toast in the oven for about 10 minutes. Let cool.

Meanwhile, break up the chocolate and put it in a medium saucepan. Add the butter and melt gently over very, very low heat, stirring frequently.

Remove from the heat and stir in the sugar, then gradually stir in the eggs, followed by the vanilla extract.

When those ingredients are thoroughly mixed, stir in the flour, then, finally, the nuts. When there are no more floury streaks, scrape down the sides of the pan and transfer the mixture to a greased, 7-by-2 1/2-inch round or oval baking dish.

Bake for about 30 minutes, until the mixture is set on top and there is a soft, gooey layer at the bottom. Serve immediately, alone or with light cream or vanilla ice cream on the side.

– Adapted from “Heavenly Chocolate Desserts,” edited by Celine Hughes

Per serving (based on 6 servings): 468 calories, 6 grams protein, 31 grams fat, 15 grams saturated fat, 48 grams carbohydrate, 2 grams fiber, 122 milligrams cholesterol, 29 milligrams sodium